Artist Statement by Marisa:

“I am not here. I am gone.)

I find an object, hear a word, or experience trauma. Any one of these transforms into a finished art piece in my mind. My work is not pleasing to many. I create from a compulsion to expel horrific visions, night terrors, and flashbacks-all related to abuses to many children by my sociopathic pedophile father (portrayed in every piece I do.) Several have asked me what I am thinking when I work in my studio. I don’t think. I am not here; I am gone. My work is extremely detailed, with symbols that are a recurring theme in all the art I make. I do not explain them. I paint only for me. Art is my earthly savior.My work is an ongoing story. As a new piece of information comes, it must be processed immediately. My art fills with dread. I take it to my therapist. He works diligently to alleviate horror, fear, and out-of-control panic. Three or four years ago, I lost the entire month of October. When I rejoined the world, I found a very minimalist finished canvas in my studio. I knew it was my work, but had no memory of doing it. I have no idea what it meant, and no title. It is called, “No Name.”

I will always love art with a passion. I just hope my obsession to paint the evil hidden in my brain somehow disappear. I do not want to tell this story to anyone (although Norbert Guthier asked so many questions, I explained the back story to him, and gave him my truth as best I could.) For now, I seek silent, sacred spaces that hold me in the present. My studio and those beloved escapes are critical to my well-being.